You've prepared a nutritious meal, strapped your little one into the highchair, and within seconds they're arching their back, crying, and refusing to eat. Sound familiar? As parents ourselves, we know how exhausting mealtime battles can be—especially when you've already tried every trick in the book.
The good news? Fussy eating in the highchair is incredibly common—studies suggest up to 50% of toddlers go through a fussy eating phase. Even better, there are proven solutions that actually work. In this comprehensive guide, we'll share our best fussy eater highchair tips that address the root causes of mealtime struggles, including one hidden factor that most parents completely overlook.
Whether your bub is refusing to sit in the highchair, crying at mealtimes, or just picking at food, this guide will help you understand what's really going on and give you actionable strategies to transform your family's mealtime experience.
Why Your Toddler Refuses the Highchair
Before diving into our fussy eater highchair tips, it helps to understand why your toddler won't eat in the highchair. According to paediatric feeding specialists, highchair refusal is a normal developmental phase that typically peaks between 12-18 months—right when toddlers are asserting their independence in every possible way.
Understanding the underlying causes is the first step toward finding effective solutions. Here's what's really going on behind those mealtime meltdowns:
Common Reasons for Highchair Refusal
- Growing independence – Toddlers want autonomy and may resist being confined. This is completely developmentally appropriate, even if it's frustrating at mealtimes.
- Physical discomfort – The chair may feel unstable, too hard, or uncomfortable. Many highchairs leave children's feet dangling, which creates physical stress.
- Overstimulation – Too many distractions, siblings competing for attention, or pressure around food can overwhelm little ones.
- Teething or illness – Temporary discomfort affecting appetite and mood. A teething toddler may associate sitting in the highchair with pain.
- Negative associations – Past stressful mealtimes can create anxiety. If previous meals have involved pressure, conflict, or upset, your child may anticipate stress as soon as they see the highchair.
- Developmental leaps – During cognitive growth spurts, eating often takes a backseat as toddlers are more focused on practising new skills like walking or talking.
The key insight? Most highchair refusal isn't about the food at all—and understanding this is key to our fussy eater highchair tips—it's about how your child feels in the chair. Once you address their physical comfort and emotional associations, eating behaviours often improve naturally and without battles.
The Hidden Cause: Feet Without Support
Here's something most parents don't realise: if your child's feet are dangling, they're working much harder at every meal.
Think about it this way—when you sit at a bar stool with your feet hanging in mid-air, you instinctively feel less stable. Your core muscles have to work overtime just to keep you balanced. Now imagine trying to concentrate on the complex motor task of eating in that position. That's exactly what happens to babies and toddlers in standard highchairs that lack proper foot support.
This insight is central to our fussy eater highchair tips: feeding therapists and occupational therapists have known this for years, but it's rarely discussed in mainstream parenting advice. Proper positioning isn't just about comfort—it's about giving your child the physical foundation they need to eat successfully.
The 90-90-90 Positioning Rule
Occupational therapists and feeding specialists recommend the "90-90-90 rule" for optimal mealtime positioning. This evidence-based approach ensures your child has the stability they need to focus on eating rather than balancing:
- Hips at 90 degrees – Bottom pushed back in the seat, sitting upright rather than slumped. This supports proper trunk alignment.
- Knees at 90 degrees – Thighs parallel to the floor, with the backs of the knees just reaching the seat edge. This prevents sliding.
- Ankles at 90 degrees – Feet flat on a solid, stable surface. This is the foundation of the entire position.
When feet have proper support, something remarkable happens. Children gain stability through their postural muscles—from hips through core, up through the neck and into the jaw. This muscular stability directly affects their ability to chew safely, swallow effectively, and focus on the task of eating. Without it, their body is constantly making micro-adjustments just to stay upright.
The solution? A quality footrest for your highchair that provides the stable platform your child needs. We've tested dozens of options and found that bamboo footrests work particularly well with the IKEA Antilop, providing solid support while remaining easy to adjust as your child grows.
Signs Your Child Needs Better Highchair Setup
Not sure if your highchair setup needs attention? These fussy eater highchair tips start with recognising the signs: Watch for these tell-tale signs during mealtimes. Many parents are surprised to discover that what they thought was behavioural fussiness is actually a response to physical discomfort.
Physical Signs to Watch For
- Leg kicking or swinging – Often a "search for stability." Your child is instinctively trying to find something solid to push against.
- Crossing legs on chair legs – This is self-bracing behaviour. When feet can't find a surface, children will wrap their legs around whatever they can find.
- Leaning heavily on the tray – Using the tray for support instead of eating from it. Watch for elbows pressing down hard.
- Sliding down in the seat – Poor positioning without foot support leads to gradual sliding. You may find yourself constantly repositioning your child.
- Arching back or pushing away – Feeling unstable and unsafe triggers a stress response. Arching is often an attempt to escape the uncomfortable situation.
- Head tilting or wobbling – When the core isn't stable, the head has difficulty staying steady, which affects chewing and swallowing.
Behavioural Signs That Point to Setup Issues
- Very short attention span – Can't focus on eating because too much mental energy goes to staying balanced.
- Constant fidgeting – Unable to settle in the chair despite being hungry. Shifting, twisting, and squirming throughout the meal.
- Crying immediately when placed in chair – Anticipating the discomfort before it even begins.
- Improved eating elsewhere – Eats better in a booster seat, at a child-sized table, or on your lap. This comparison is very telling.
- Refusing favourite foods – Even foods they normally love get rejected when discomfort is the underlying issue.
If you're seeing two or more of these signs regularly, it's worth trying a cushion cover for comfort and a footrest for stability before assuming it's a food-related issue. Many parents report dramatic improvements within just a few meals of making these changes.
7 Practical Tips for Fussy Eaters at Mealtimes
Now for the strategies that actually work. These fussy eater highchair tips combine insights from paediatric feeding specialists with real-world parent experience—including our own experiences as parents who've navigated the fussy eating phase.
1. Optimise Physical Comfort First
Before anything else, ensure your child is physically comfortable. Add a footrest, check the harness isn't too tight or digging in, and consider a cushion if the seat feels hard or cold. A comfortable child is a more cooperative eater—this is the foundation of all fussy eater highchair tips. This single change often makes more difference than any dietary modification.
2. Establish a Predictable Routine
Children thrive on routine and predictability. Try to offer meals and snacks at consistent times each day—toddlers typically do best with three meals and two snacks at regular intervals. A simple pre-meal ritual (washing hands, singing a song, sitting together) helps signal that mealtime is starting and mentally prepares your child for eating.
3. Reduce Mealtime Pressure
This is crucial and often counterintuitive: Avoid forcing, bribing, or begging your child to eat. Research from the Australian government's Raising Children Network consistently shows that pressure backfires, creating negative associations with mealtimes and actually reducing food intake over time.
Instead, follow the Division of Responsibility approach: you decide what food to offer, when to offer it, and where meals happen. Your child decides whether to eat and how much. This removes the power struggle and allows natural appetite regulation to work.
4. Serve Familiar Foods Alongside New Ones
It can take 10-15 exposures—sometimes even more—for a child to accept a new food. That's not 10 times being offered the food, but 10 times actually putting it in their mouth. This is normal and not a sign of failure.
Always include at least one familiar "safe" food on the plate, so there's something they can eat while exploring new options. This removes the anxiety of facing a plate full of unfamiliar food and gives them a sense of control.
5. Eat Together as a Family
Children learn by watching and imitating. When they see you eating the same foods with genuine enjoyment, they're significantly more likely to try them. Research shows that children who regularly eat meals with family members have better nutrition overall.
Even if schedules are tricky, aim to eat with your child rather than just feeding them. Sit at the table, eat the same or similar foods, and model the behaviour you want to see. Your reactions to food are being carefully observed and absorbed.
6. Keep Portions Small
A plate piled high can overwhelm a toddler—it looks impossible before they even start. Start with tiny portions, literally a few pieces of each food, and offer more if they want it. Small portions feel achievable, reduce food waste, and give you the chance to celebrate when they ask for more.
A good rule of thumb: one tablespoon of each food per year of age is plenty to start with. You can always add more, but you can't undo the overwhelm of a full plate.
7. End on a Positive Note
If mealtime is going downhill—throwing food, crying, refusing to sit—it's okay to end early. Saying "all done!" calmly and removing the food prevents the meal from becoming a battle and preserves positive associations with the highchair.
There will be another meal in a few hours. One refused meal won't cause nutritional problems, but ongoing mealtime battles can create lasting negative associations that are harder to undo.
How Long Should Mealtimes Last?
One of the most common questions in any collection of fussy eater highchair tips: : how long should I keep my toddler in the highchair? Many parents instinctively keep extending meals, hoping their child will eventually eat more.
The expert consensus is 15-20 minutes maximum for toddlers.
Here's the evidence-based reasoning behind shorter mealtimes:
- Attention spans are developmentally short – Toddlers simply can't focus for long periods. Expecting them to sit for 45 minutes is unrealistic and counterproductive.
- Hunger cues are reliable – If they haven't eaten in 20 minutes, they're likely not hungry right now. Trust their internal regulation.
- Prevents negative associations – Long, drawn-out meals create stress for everyone and make the highchair feel like a trap rather than a place for nourishment.
- Protects the next meal's appetite – Ending on time keeps the hunger-eating cycle healthy. A child who is allowed to leave when full will come to the next meal genuinely hungry.
If your toddler is eating well and genuinely happy, you can certainly let the meal continue naturally. But if they're playing with food, throwing things, or getting upset, trust that 15-20 minutes is enough. Set a gentle timer if it helps you stay consistent.
Making Food Fun: Engagement Strategies
These fussy eater highchair tips extend beyond setup: sometimes fussy eating is simply about boredom or lack of engagement. Here are practical ways to make mealtimes more interesting without turning eating into a performance or entertainment session:
Food Presentation Ideas
- Fun shapes – Use cookie cutters on sandwiches, pancakes, cheese, or even soft fruits like watermelon. Stars, hearts, and animals add novelty.
- Colourful plates – Aim for variety in colours on the plate. "Eating the rainbow" becomes more appealing when it actually looks like a rainbow.
- Dipping options – Hummus, yoghurt, nut butter, or tomato sauce for dipping. Toddlers love the control and the tactile experience of dipping.
- Finger foods – Let them self-feed for autonomy. Foods they can pick up and control themselves are often more appealing than spoon-fed purees.
- Deconstructed meals – Instead of mixed dishes, offer components separately so they can see exactly what's on their plate.
Reducing Mess Anxiety
Mess is part of learning to eat independently—it's actually developmentally important for sensory exploration and fine motor development. However, we know it can be stressful for parents.
A silicone placemat with a catchment area can contain most spills and dropped food, making cleanup significantly easier and reducing your stress during meals. When you're more relaxed, your child picks up on that calm energy.
Involve Them in Food Prep
Even toddlers can help wash vegetables, tear lettuce, stir ingredients, or "sprinkle" toppings. Research consistently shows that children who help prepare food are more likely to taste it. It's about ownership and pride—they made it, so they want to try it.
Simple, safe tasks for toddlers include washing fruits and vegetables in water, tearing salad leaves, adding pre-measured ingredients to bowls, and using a child-safe knife on soft foods like bananas.
When Fussy Eating Becomes a Concern
Most fussy eating is completely normal and temporary—a developmental phase that resolves with time, patience, and consistent positive mealtime experiences. However, there are situations where professional guidance is valuable.
You should speak with your GP, paediatric dietitian, or feeding therapist if:
- Your child is losing weight or falling off their growth curve over multiple check-ups
- They're eating fewer than 20 different foods total and the list is shrinking rather than growing
- Entire food groups are completely refused (all proteins, all vegetables, all crunchy foods, etc.)
- There's consistent gagging, choking, or signs of pain during eating
- Mealtimes consistently cause extreme distress for your child or significant stress for you as a parent
- You suspect sensory processing difficulties affecting multiple textures
- Fussy eating is accompanied by other developmental concerns
- The fussy phase has lasted more than 6 months without any improvement
The Raising Children Network and HealthDirect Australia both recommend that persistent feeding concerns be assessed by a professional. Early intervention, when needed, can make a significant difference in outcomes.
That said, trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, it's always worth having a conversation with a professional, even if just for reassurance.
Setting Up Your IKEA Antilop for Success
To apply these fussy eater highchair tips effectively, you need the right setup. The IKEA Antilop is one of the most popular highchairs in Australia—and for good reason. It's affordable , incredibly easy to clean (no crevices for food to hide in), lightweight and portable, and the removable legs make it perfect for travel or storing in small spaces.
However, out of the box, the Antilop is missing a few features that can make a significant difference for fussy eaters. With a few simple additions, you can transform it into an ergonomically optimal feeding setup.
Essential IKEA Antilop Accessories
- Footrest – This is the most important addition. The Antilop doesn't come with foot support, leaving your child's legs dangling. Adding a bamboo footrest addresses the 90-90-90 positioning we discussed earlier and can be adjusted as your child grows.
- Cushion cover – The plastic seat can feel cold in winter and slippery year-round. A padded cushion cover adds comfort and grip, helping your child stay positioned properly throughout the meal.
- Placemat – A suction placemat keeps food in place (rather than pushed off the tray), contains spills, and makes cleanup significantly faster. It also gives your child a defined eating area.
Quick Setup Tips for Optimal Mealtimes
- Position at the family table – Remove the Antilop tray and push the chair up to the table so your child feels included in family meals. This also models proper table manners.
- Adjust footrest height regularly – As your child grows, the footrest needs to move down to maintain proper 90-degree angles. Check the positioning every few weeks.
- Remove the tray occasionally – For table eating practice, use a placemat directly on the table instead of the tray. This helps transition to regular dining.
- Keep the setup consistent – Children like predictability. Using the same accessories, placement, and routine helps them know what to expect.
- Clean immediately after meals – The Antilop's smooth surfaces make this easy. A quick wipe prevents food from hardening and keeps the chair hygienic.
Final Thoughts
Implementing these fussy eater highchair tips takes patience. Dealing with a fussy eater in the highchair can be incredibly frustrating, exhausting, and emotionally draining—especially when you're doing everything you can to nourish your child. But remember: this phase will pass. Almost all children move through fussy eating and emerge with a healthy relationship with food.
By addressing physical comfort, reducing mealtime pressure, keeping meals appropriately short, and making the experience positive, you're setting the foundation for a lifetime of healthy eating habits. Small changes now can prevent big battles later.
Here are the key takeaways from everything we've covered:
- Check physical comfort first – Dangling feet cause instability and fussiness. A footrest can transform mealtimes.
- Keep mealtimes short – 15-20 minutes is genuinely enough for toddlers. Longer doesn't mean better.
- Reduce pressure – Offer food without forcing, bribing, or begging. Trust your child's appetite.
- Optimise your setup – A footrest, cushion, and placemat make a real, measurable difference.
- Be patient and consistent – Changes take time. Stick with positive strategies even when progress feels slow.
Ready to transform your mealtimes? Explore our IKEA Antilop accessories designed specifically for Australian families who want to make mealtime easier for everyone.
